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None of us have a fairy godmother, who would turn the world in our favor with the wave of her wand. You need to squeeze yourself out of all the tight spots that trap you, all alone. And when things go really down, you will always get vague bits of advice like “Be positive”.
Wait. But how exactly do I be positive? Should I hope for the best? Or should I squint at my miserable condition to spot the good things? Well, you need to do both. And much more.
Keeping fingers crossed- Hoping for the best forms a very basic step to positive thinking. All you have to do is frequently visualize yourself living the life you want to or any other goal you want to reach, and simultaneously make continuous efforts to achieve it. Simple enough? Not really. Here is something else you will require.
Cut down on worrying- Thinking about a bright future is not as easy as it sounds. If the process of success is taking too long, the human mind is bound to have negative thoughts or go into despair. It will make you ponder over all the negative possibilities that may come into being. It will also have discouraging thoughts like “Nothing’s going to change” or “I am stuck up with this forever” or “What if it gets even worse?” Did you see how the mind is gradually pulling you in the swamp of hopelessness? To get out of this, you’ll have to vigilantly watch your thoughts. Whenever a negative thought arises, think whether you can do something about it. If you can, then start doing it already! (What are you waiting for? More negative thoughts?) And once it’s done, you can get rid of that thought forever. If you can’t do anything about it, there is no point in worrying about it either, right? Every single time it pops up, keep reminding yourself that entertaining such thought is consuming too much of your mental energy. Keep telling your mind to calm down. The thought will subside eventually. Here, deep breathing and patience are your best friends.
Face the light- A clichéd advice, but looking at the bright side is thoroughly helpful in increasing the positivity in your life. But only a few have the ability to do so. No situation is only good or only bad. It is a combination of both good and bad. Only the intensity differs. If you are creative enough, you will definitely find the positive points in any phase of your life, no matter how worse it is. Worse the problem, more creative you can be. Keep searching for the good points. Face the light; even if it is just a tiny ray in the gloom.
Believe- In what? In the thought that whatever bad situation you are in, it is all for a purpose- for you to evolve into a stronger person; for you to learn some important life lesson; for you to learn to stabilize your mind even in the most difficult times. You’ll never know which. Do you know why the world exists? Do you know why seeds grow into trees? Do you know why things are the way they are? No? Then you will have a hard time figuring out the reason behind the hard times you had to face. Don’t over think. Just believe that it for your own good. Reasonable enough?
Redefine success- Success, for most people, means anything from winning a competition and securing the first rank to owning a bigger flat and a faster car. If you do not achieve any of this, you consider yourself a failure, and boom! There come all the negative thoughts about self-pity. Success doesn’t always mean the material gains or people appreciating your efforts, talents, and victories. Of course, you can keep your hopes high and work your way to it diligently. But if you fail, focus on the thought that you tried your best. And the fact that you tried your best is a little success of your own. No one may see that, but it remains a thing to be proud of, all the same. Always remember that.
Next time, when someone asks you to be positive, you know exactly what you are supposed to do. Remember the thing I said about the fairy godmother? Well, you can hire positivity to be your personal fairy godmother. It may or may not change the world in your favor, but it will change your thinking which is pretty much the same thing.
You may also want to read other articles written by the same author: ‘Fun alternatives for ladies on career break‘, ‘Why a home maker should return to her career‘, ‘Bridging the gap using online resources‘, ‘Stress: Lets deal with it‘, ‘No Matter what the world says, It is ok to… live your life‘
About the author:
Radhika completed her B.A. and M.A (Gold medal) in Sanskrit from the Mumbai University. She has a passion for languages especially English, Sanskrit, and German and has written articles on Upanishads. She provides content development services. She likes teaching and writing. Her hobbies include reading and listening to music.
(The author is a guest blogger at Her Second Innings. The opinions expressed are those of the author.)
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